- After your humans give you a bath, DON'T
LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and
dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's
right before your humans' bedtime.
- Act like a convicted criminal. When the
humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs,
chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad.
Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the
damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when
you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
- Let the humans teach you a brand new trick.
Learn it perfectly. When the humans try to demonstrate it to
someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you
have no idea what they're talking about.
- Make your humans be patient. When you go
outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans
wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately
decide the fate of the earth.
- Draw attention to the human. When out for
a walk, always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'.
Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly
well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
- When out for a walk, alternate between choking
and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
- Make your own rules. Don't always bring back
the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and
chase it once in a while.
- Hide from your humans. When your humans
come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from
them, and make them think something terrible has happened to
you. (Don't reappear until one of your human is panic-stricken
and close to tears).
- When your human calls you to come back in,
always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the
door.
- Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm
clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for
your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep.
(Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, so
this will drive them nuts!)
Author Unknown
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